You love each other—but somehow, you keep missing each other.
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Maybe it looks like slammed cabinet doors, sharp words, or one of you zoning out on the couch.
Maybe it’s the same fight on repeat—one pushing, one pulling away, both ending up hurt.
Or maybe it’s not fighting at all—it’s silence, loneliness, and the ache of feeling like roommates instead of partners.
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Either way, you both long for closeness… but the harder you try, the farther apart you feel.
When Love Feels This Hard:
The Fighting Couple
It starts small—cabinet doors slammed a little too hard, a sharp sigh, the question “When will dinner be ready?” that lands like a slap. Within minutes, voices are raised. One of you is shouting, “Why do I have to do everything?” The other is snapping back, “You’re so dramatic—nothing I do is ever enough for you.” You both swore last time would be the last time. But here you are again—same fight, different night.
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The Distancing Couple
Lately, the house feels more like a business partnership than a marriage. You’re civil—managing kids, bills, schedules—but the warmth is gone. Evenings are quiet: one of you scrolling on your phone in bed, the other falling asleep to the glow of the TV.
There aren’t blowups, but there’s no spark either. You can’t remember the last time you laughed together, or when your partner looked at you like they really saw you.
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The Big Reveal Couple
You thought things were “fine enough," until the night everything shifted. The text messages. The secret credit card. The confession that left you reeling. It’s not full-blown crisis, but it’s a rupture you can’t unsee. Suddenly, the distance you’ve felt for years has a name, a reason—and now you’re left wondering: Can we come back from this? Do we even want to?
But what if you could finally change that?​
Imagine evenings that don’t end in slammed doors or icy silence, but in repair and closeness.​
Imagine feeling safe enough with each other to drop your guard, share honestly, and actually feel heard.​
Imagine discovering a deeper, more fulfilling relationship than you ever thought possible—one where you’re not just getting by, but truly connected.
No matter which version of stuck you’re in—constant fighting, quiet distance, or a painful rupture—the pattern underneath is the same.
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You both long for closeness. You both want to feel valued and understood.
But instead of bringing you together, your old survival strategies keep pulling you apart.
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In RLT, we name this the Adaptive Child—the instinctive, protective part of you that learned how to survive in your family years ago. Maybe your Adaptive Child learned to explode so you wouldn’t be ignored, or to shut down so you wouldn’t get hurt. Those strategies worked then. But now, they’re sabotaging the intimacy you crave.
If any of this rings true, you're not the only ones who feel this way.
And, it can be different.
It’s frustrating to feel stuck in the same patterns and doubts, but here’s the good news: these old stories don’t have to define your future, not as individuals and not as a couple.
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Imagine feeling secure, confident, and worthy of the love you’ve always wanted. What if, instead of second-guessing yourselves, you could show up for your relationship knowing you deserve the kind of connection that feels deep and true?
About Me
My name is Megan Secrest, and I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in private practice in Edmond, Oklahoma. I see clients across Oklahoma and Vermont.
Here’s what I believe: relationships are where we can be hurt the most, and also where we can heal the most. So many of us long for intimacy, but no one ever really taught us how to create it. We fall back on old habits we picked up in childhood, patterns that might have protected us then, but are sabotaging us now.
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That’s why I was drawn to Relational Life Therapy (RLT). It doesn’t dance around the issues, and neither do I. I’m forthright and forthcoming, but I’m also deeply relational. That means I’ll name the patterns that are keeping you stuck and hold the line when needed—but always in a way that’s respectful, real, and compassionate.
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My clients often tell me they feel both challenged and supported in our work together. That balance is what helps couples move from feeling stuck in painful cycles to experiencing the deeper connection they’ve been longing for.
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I love this work because I know change is possible. I’ve seen couples who thought they were too far gone find their way back to one another—with honesty, courage, and love. And I’d be honored to walk with you as you find out what’s possible for your relationship.
My Approach: Practical, Action-Oriented Relational Life Therapy for Real, Lasting Love
Relational Life Therapy goes straight to the heart of these patterns. Instead of just talking in circles, I’ll help you:
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Spot when your Adaptive Child is running the show—and teach you how to let your Wise Adult take the wheel.
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Interrupt the cycle—so you don’t keep recycling the same fight, silence, or distance.
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Name and challenge harmful behavior—because ignoring it won’t heal your relationship.
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Practice real repair and accountability—not just “sorry,” but meaningful change that rebuilds trust.
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Rebuild intimacy—emotional, physical, and practical—so you can finally feel like teammates and lovers again.
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This work isn’t about blame. It’s about breaking free from old patterns and learning how to love and be loved in healthier, more fulfilling ways.
Is This the Right Fit?
This is for you if:
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You’re exhausted from having the same fights on repeat, and you’re desperate for real change—not just another temporary truce.
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You want to feel heard, valued, and supported by your partner instead of invisible, criticized, or shut out.
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You’re brave enough to look at your own patterns, even if they’re messy or uncomfortable.
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You’re ready to try new ways of communicating, even if it feels awkward at first, because what you’ve been doing isn’t working.
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You want clarity—whether that’s finding your way back with stronger connection, or deciding with compassion if it’s time to part.
This isn’t for you if:
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You refuse to see how your behavior might be hurting your partner, and you’re not willing to change it.
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You want a quick fix while keeping everything else exactly the same.
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You’d rather stay stuck in blame, defensiveness, or shutting down than risk being vulnerable.
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You’re determined to prove your partner is “the problem” and won’t take an honest look at yourself.
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You’re in an unsafe or physically abusive relationship—those situations need a different kind of support.
Common Concerns About Couples Therapy
“What if we just end up fighting in front of you?”
Sometimes the same fights do show up in the room. That’s okay. I’ll step in, slow things down, and help you practice new ways of relating—so you leave with more than just another blow-up.
“I don’t have the time or money for this.”
I get it—life is demanding. But what’s the cost of not doing this work? More years of loneliness, resentment, and disconnection. Therapy is an investment in your future: either repairing your relationship so it finally feels good again, or getting clarity about whether to stay together. Besides, I often find that the first session within RLT often opens up and makes clear what was muddy before.
“We’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t work.”
Maybe you spent weeks just rehashing fights without real tools, or you felt like the therapist wouldn’t take a stand. RLT is different. It’s active, it’s honest, and it goes straight to the root of the problem.
“What if my partner won’t change?”
RLT is direct. If one partner’s behavior is damaging, we’ll name it clearly. But often, when even one of you begins to engage differently, the whole dynamic shifts.
“I don’t want to air our dirty laundry.”
That makes sense—it feels vulnerable. But you don’t have to carry this alone anymore. Most couples feel relief after the first session, because finally, someone understands the pattern and has a plan for change.
Imagine walking through the door at the end of a long day and actually feeling glad to see each other again.
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Picture asking for help without it turning into a fight—or offering help without it feeling like a burden.
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What if disagreements didn't end in slammed doors or icy silence, but in repair, understanding, and closeness?
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Imagine intimacy—physical and emotional—that feels safe, nourishing, and real.
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This is what’s possible when you learn to quiet your Adaptive Child and bring your Wise Adult into your relationship.
