Overstimulated or Understimulated? How to Tell the Difference and What to Do About It

Hi friends,

I hope you are doing well! Today, let's tackle an issue that has been coming up more frequently in my sessions with clients: trying to determine what your nervous system needs in the moment. Think of your nervous system like a car engine. What's happening within? Does it need to run faster or hotter, therefore requiring you to press on the gas (a.k.a. understimulation)? Or is slamming on the brakes needed (overstimulation)? Let's take a journey to figure out which is which!

Have you ever felt like your body is trying to tell you something—but you’re not quite sure what it’s saying?

One minute, the world feels too loud, too bright, too much. The next, you’re bouncing your leg, chewing on your hoodie string, and replaying the same song for the hundredth time. (Yes, that one.)

That’s your nervous system asking for support.

If you’re a therapist, teacher, nurse, caregiver, or anyone living in a chronically overstimulating (or under-stimulating) world—this post is for you.

What Is Overstimulation?

Overstimulation happens when your nervous system is overwhelmed with sensory input. Think: loud noises, bright lights, busy spaces, strong smells. It’s your body’s version of system overload.

Signs of Overstimulation:

• You can’t ignore background noise, clutter, or smells

• You crave quiet, dark environments to recharge

• You feel off-balance or slow to physically respond

• You notice body sensations intensely (like a pounding heart or growling stomach)

• You feel wiped out after a trip to the mall or grocery store

• You feel like you’re “underwater” or shut down when overwhelmed

What Is Understimulation?

Understimulation is less talked about but just as real. It happens when your nervous system isn’t getting enough input to feel alert and grounded. You may feel antsy, foggy, or stuck in low energy.

Signs of Understimulation:

• You need to constantly touch items or people

• You chew on things (pens, sleeves, gum, hair, etc.)

• You repeat sounds or play the same song on loop

• You're doom scrolling or bed rotting and you still don't feel better

• You bump into things or walk with heavy footfalls

• You seek stimulation through overeating, overworking, or impulse spending

Why This Matters for Helpers + Healers

When you’re already navigating stress, burnout, or compassion fatigue, these sensory shifts can feel even more intense. And if you're neurodivergent, this back-and-forth might be part of your everyday.

But here’s the good news: when you learn to recognize whether you’re overstimulated or understimulated, you can give your nervous system exactly what it needs to come back to balance.

Ask Yourself: “Do I Need More or Less Right Now?”

This simple question can help you pause, check in, and respond—rather than react.

Here’s how to support your nervous system, based on what it needs:

Tools for Overstimulation

• 🎧 Use noise-canceling headphones or play white noise

• 💡 Dim the lights or switch to soft lamps

• 🧊 Try a weighted eye mask or rub ice on your cheeks

• 🤗 Use a weighted blanket or give yourself a firm hug

• 🌱 Lay on the floor or grass to ground yourself

• 🥤 Drink cool water with lemon

Tools for Understimulation

• 🍋 Suck on sour candy or a mint

• 🍬 Chew gum or try chewelry (chewable jewelry)

• 🎶 Play your favorite walk-up song and dance to it

• ☀️ Get morning sunlight if possible

• 💦 Use an acupressure mat or take a cold shower

• Do 'toe yoga' in your shoes or on the floor to add in movement in a small way.

  
  

TL;DR – You’re Not “Too Sensitive.” You’re Just Dysregulated.

Overstimulation and understimulation aren’t character flaws—they’re messages from your body. Your nervous system isn’t trying to sabotage you. It’s just trying to talk to you.

The more you learn to listen and respond with compassion, the more calm, clarity, and energy you’ll unlock.

Need more support navigating nervous system regulation or burnout?

Subscribe to my email list to get:

• Free wellness resources

• Practical tips that don’t involve overhauling your life

• Encouragement from someone who’s been there

You deserve support too. 🧡

Take exquisite care of yourself,

Megan

Health and Consistency Series: The Final Pillar of Nutrition

Hi friends!

I hope your nervous system and brain aren't too overwhelmed with the state of the world and the fact that winter feels like it is 987 days long. I feel tired, honestly, but I'm making time to go touch grass (literally, even though it's crunchy and brown because winter) and create something. I think I'll bake some bread today.

For our final pillar, I'd like to focus on nutrition. And here's the thing, I'm not going to tell you what to eat, because that's actually supposed to be different for all of us. This is called the concept of bio-individuality, and it's a core framework for functional medicine. It's something I am getting more and more attuned with, in myself and my body as well.

Your Own Individual Diet for Total Wellness

Bio-individuality is defined as "recognizing that all of us are individual and unique with distinct genetic makeups, gut microbiomes, cognitive processes, hormone levels, etc., and therefore, we all need to investigate what works best for us when it comes to nutrition, sleep, exercise and managing stress. You are the expert in you. Seriously. You do know what you need best, most of the time, even if you don't actively choose that.

If we look at nutrition as a key piece of wellness, but we see it as some mysterious thing that we can't figure out, then we may never get to experience feeling our best. Here's some ways to improve your knowledge about your own bio-individuality when it comes to eating well:

1. Keep a food diary for 14 days. During this period of time, change nothing about what you eat. Just eat and notice the following factors:

   1. How is my energy level after eating that meal or snack approximately 2-3 hours later?

   2. What does my stomach feel like?

   3. Do I notice any gut issues, like diarrhea or constipation?

   4. How do I feel about myself emotionally after eating that food or meal?

2. Identify if there's different timings or patterns that would work better for you with regards to nutrition.

   1. For some people, considering some form of intermittent fasting is helpful.

   2. For others, it's eating food in a different order, like the Glucose Goddess recommends.

   3. Sometimes, people do better if they add more of one thing and less of another, like my clients with food intolerances and allergies.

3. Find resources that fit into your preferred pattern of eating and what foods made you feel your best. But be sure to scan the resource to make it's free of shame around food and nutrition.

   1. Nobody changed for the long term because of shame, and nobody ever will.

4. Create a neutrality towards food within yourself.

   1. Food is morally neutral. It doesn't say anything about you as a wife, friend, dad, husband, mother, child, daughter, son.

   2. What you choose to eat and how it makes you feel is just data, more information about how to best live your life in this body you've been given.

5. Understand that much of the research around food and eating as well as exercise is conflicting and based on whichever monopolies are facing the nutrition marketplace today.

   1. No one food group is the solution to all of your problems. (Cough cough, just eat MORE protein and you'll magically lose 107 pounds easily and with no effort).

6. Try to find ways to include more whole foods and less super-processed foods into your diet. That's it. Don't throw your McDonald's fries out of the window. Just add in more unprocessed options throughout your daily life.

7. Explore making 1 new recipe per week at home. Just one.

   1. Most of us eat out way too much, and cooking is good for you both physically and emotionally. Cooking is creation and humans were designed to create.

Remember that nutrition and eating 'healthy' needs to be sustainable for the long term. Sure, drinking a protein shake per day sounds doable initially but what happens when the newness wears off and you begin to hate the taste? What happens when you begin intuitive eating and then realize that your intuition is... drawn only to foods that you know, deep down, don't help you feel your best?

Once you discover what types of food and eating patterns best support your wellness, you can then identify what you need to adjust in order to obtain optimal health, but it will feel less rigorous, less restrictive. And isn't that what we all are looking for? More ease, more confidence in ourselves and our choices.

If you want to work with a therapist who understands the complexity around health, nutrition, and the emotional mindset work around pursuing total wellness, I'd love to chat with you further about what your goals look like, and where you feel like you're currently stumbling. Schedule your free consultation here.

Click Me

Take exquisite care of yourselves,

Megan

Health and Consistency: Managing Stress by Changing “People, Places, and Things”

Stress management is a cornerstone of health—it's the steady foundation that keeps the rest of our efforts balanced and functional. In this installment of the Health and Consistency series, we’re diving deep into the stress management pillar. Specifically, we’ll explore how the recovery principle of changing “people, places, and things” can help us manage stress, reduce the risk of addiction returning, and ultimately create a healthier, more peaceful life.

You may have heard it before: “Let go of the toxic people, avoid the triggering places, and stop holding onto unhealthy habits.” But what does that actually mean in practice? And how do we handle situations where we can’t avoid certain people, places, or things altogether?

Let’s unpack this concept together.

The “People, Places, and Things” Principle: A Stress Management Hack

I bet y'all didn't know this about me, but I used to be a therapist for a drug court program in another life. Seriously. I graduated from my masters program, did a short stint in contract therapy work, and then got a job as a drug court counselor, helping people with addictions to substances, mandated legally to this treatment program, achieve sobriety.

If you knew me in high school, you would have giggled, because I have total snitch energy. Like I had never even been offered a cigarette prior to helping serve this population. I waited to drink alcohol until I was 21 years old, because research shows this lowers your chance of alcoholism. I had to google what meth looked like! I'm grateful for the experience I gained in that job. I learned a lot about addiction, recovery and what works to stay healthy in this job as a counselor for people with addictions.

This brings me to a statement we would talk about ad nauseam in our group therapy sessions: "If you want to stay sober, you have to change people, places and things. You can't hang out with the same people you used with, you can't go to the same places you used at, and you can't do the same things you did while abusing drugs or alcohol." This idea of changing people, places, and things comes from Alcoholics Anonymous, and it's really about changing the conditioning in your brain that is super-charged with addictions to substances.

I would argue that the conditioning you experiencing in addiction can happen with anything though, including relationships, certain places, and with certain apps (*cough, cough TikTok). If you always scroll your phone while on the couch at nighttime, your brain's reward center starts to associate dopamine with you sitting on the couch, and primes you to start scrolling the moment your butt touches the leather. Or if we use the relationship example, many people have dated at least one person that they felt very attached to, despite knowing this person wasn't good for them. They feel the anticipation and excitement (the reward system in the brain) when that person even texts them. That's how powerful conditioning is. So, in order to break conditioning, we have to let go of the triggers associated with the reward. Check out this article on the reward system in the brain linked here if you're curious about it.

This recovery concept is simple on the surface: to move forward in a healthy, addiction-free life, we often need to leave behind the people, places, and things that tied us to our old patterns. However, while it’s straightforward in theory, it’s much more complicated in practice.

Why? Because people, places, and things often carry strong emotional connections. They represent comfort, even if they aren’t good for us. Walking away from them can feel like losing a part of ourselves or stepping into the unknown.

But here’s the truth: if we don’t address these stressors head-on, they’ll slowly chip away at our progress. When we surround ourselves with toxicity—whether it’s a person who drags us down, an environment that breeds negativity, or habits that numb rather than heal—we keep ourselves tethered to stress and the potential for relapse or burnout.

Leaving Toxic People Behind

One of the hardest decisions we face is removing toxic people from our lives. These might be individuals we’ve known forever—a lifelong friend who’s become more draining than supportive, or a family member whose criticism cuts too deep. Letting go of these relationships can feel selfish or guilt-inducing, but in reality, it’s an act of self-preservation.

Here’s a personal example: I once had a friend who was quick to undermine my progress whenever I shared a win. They’d dismiss my hard work, saying things like, “You’re just lucky,” or, “Must be nice to have that kind of time.” For a while, I brushed it off, convincing myself they didn’t mean harm. But over time, I noticed how their words affected me. I’d feel deflated after spending time with them, questioning my worth and my journey.

Eventually, I realized their negativity wasn’t my responsibility to manage. I had to let them go—not with anger, but with a quiet understanding that my well-being mattered more than their approval. And you know what? The relief was almost immediate. Without their influence, I could celebrate my wins unapologetically and surround myself with people who lifted me up instead.

If you’re grappling with toxic relationships, ask yourself: Is this person helping me grow, or are they holding me back? It’s not easy to walk away, but it’s often necessary to create space for peace and joy.

Steering Clear of Triggering Places

Our environment plays a huge role in our stress levels. Certain places can be deeply tied to old habits, unhealthy routines, or even traumatic experiences. For example, a bar where you used to drink heavily, a neighborhood that feels unsafe, or a workplace that drains your energy.

When I was working in an overly demanding job, the office became a source of constant tension. Just walking into the building made my shoulders tense up, and by the end of the day, I was emotionally and physically exhausted. It wasn’t just the work itself—it was the atmosphere. Gossip, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of support made it impossible to feel at ease.

I realized I couldn’t thrive in that environment, so I made a plan to leave. It wasn’t an impulsive decision; it took months of preparation. But when I finally left that toxic workplace, I felt like I could breathe again.

If there are places in your life that feel more draining than energizing, ask yourself if you can change your relationship with them—or if it’s time to move on entirely. And when walking away isn’t an option, consider what boundaries you can set to protect your peace.

Addressing Harmful Habits and Things

“Things” can include objects, behaviors, or routines that keep us stuck in cycles of stress and poor health. This might be social media that feeds comparison, a shopping habit that drains your finances, or even a cluttered home that adds to mental chaos.

For me, one of the hardest “things” to let go of was my overcommitment to being everything for everyone. I used to say yes to every request, convinced that saying no would let people down or make me seem unreliable. But this habit led to constant burnout.

Eventually, I realized that I was carrying stress I didn’t need to carry. By learning to say no—and being okay with the discomfort that sometimes followed—I reclaimed my energy and started focusing on what truly mattered.

What About When You Can’t Leave?

Of course, there are times when walking away isn’t an option. Maybe the toxic person is a family member you still want in your life, or the stressful place is your hometown, where you’re deeply rooted.

In these cases, boundaries become your best friend. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people or places out completely—they’re about creating healthy limits that protect your emotional and mental well-being. Boundaries communicate what we will do if ____ happens or doesn't happen.

For instance, if you have a family member who’s overly critical, you might limit how much time you spend with them or redirect conversations when they turn negative. An assertive example of a boundary with them might sound like, "If the topic moves towards discussing my weight, I'm going to end the conversation." If your workplace is stressful, you might set boundaries around your availability, like not answering emails after hours.

Boundaries require practice and patience, but they’re a powerful way to reclaim control over your stress levels.

Why This Matters for Stress Management

Stress is a cumulative experience—it builds over time. When we allow toxic people, places, or things to remain in our lives unchecked, the stress they create doesn’t just go away. It lingers, affecting our mood, our physical health, and our ability to make healthy choices.

On the flip side, when we proactively address these stressors, we create a life that feels lighter, more aligned, and more manageable. By letting go of what no longer serves us and setting boundaries with what we can’t avoid, we give ourselves the space to heal, grow, and thrive.

Moving Forward

Take a moment to reflect:

• Are there people in your life who feel more draining than uplifting?

• Are there places that trigger feelings of stress or negativity?

• Are there habits or “things” that keep you stuck in cycles of anxiety or overwhelm?

Start small. Choose one person, place, or thing to address this week. Whether it’s letting go, setting a boundary, or rethinking your relationship with them, remember: every step you take toward reducing stress is a step toward a healthier, more consistent life.

Managing stress isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. And when you prioritize your peace, you create space for every other pillar of health to thrive.

Take exquisite care of yourself,

Megan