Weight Loss Doesn't Fix Everything: What We Really Need to Feel Whole

Over two years, I shed 91 pounds, yet I still sensed something was missing. I recall the moment I stepped on the scale and saw that I had reached my all-time highest weight, surpassing my pregnancy weight by an astonishing 17 pounds. As I gazed at that figure, I thought, "This is it. I'm done with this." Thus began my journey toward health, managing my Hashimoto's Hypothyroid diagnosis, and understanding my PCOS.

Sometimes, even after losing weight, you can feel like your brain is stuck in sand, just like these barbells. You want to move forward. You just don't know how.

Choosing to seek assistance for weight loss, whether through medication, nutritional guidance, or surgery, is a wise choice. It signifies that you've acknowledged your human limitations and recognized the need for help. Once you receive that help and reach your goal, it feels amazing. But only for a brief time. Then that pesky question arises: "What now?"

Even with major weight loss from GLP-1s or bariatric surgery, many people are surprised to find that the deeper wounds—emotional pain, self-worth struggles, relationship challenges—remain unhealed. This blog is for you.

The Promise and the Hope of GLP-1 Medications and Weight Loss Surgery

In my clinical experience, people don't choose these routes in order to 'take the easy way out.' Most of them have struggled with their weight their entire lives. They chose these options as a last resort-- a way to finally achieve the health that has long been denied them, but also as a path to belonging (in a society that truly seems to hate larger bodies), confidence and as relief to shame.

People get lost in the fantasy of "Once I lose the weight, I'll be..."

• Successful

• Happy

• Worthy (of love, attention, belonging.)

• Confident

• In Control (of my food intake, my body, my wellbeing, etc.)

• Desired

• Healthy

• Free (to travel, speak up, go to the beach, take up space.)

These aren’t shallow hopes—they’re often very tender, very human longings. And most were planted early, through messaging from family, media, society, healthcare providers, or painful experiences of rejection. The problem is... all of these things/beliefs have to be nurtured, grown or shifted while losing the weight and after, in order for you to flourish. Losing the weight exposes the deeper feeling that most people avoid: the feeling of being too much and never enough. True freedom comes not just from shedding pounds, but from unlearning the stories you were told about your worth. Your worth isn't dependent on your weight or size and it never was. You are worthy, simply because you exist. You deserve to believe this, and feel this is true, down to your very core.

What These Weight Loss Interventions Can Fix

Let’s start with what does change—and why so many people feel real, tangible benefits after medical weight loss interventions.

Because here’s the truth: Weight loss can bring relief. Especially when it’s tied to physical discomfort, chronic illness, or years of struggling.

You might be walking farther, your lab numbers improved or your ability to leave food on your plate finally materializes (for the first time in your life). For some people, they find as they lose the weight, their willingness to move their bodies improves, and their goals shift naturally to support their new lifestyle.

The external validation and "kindness" from the world increases (check out skinny privilege and pretty privilege on Reddit sub-threads if you don't believe me). The lectures from your doctor cease, and the compliments start to roll in. And here’s the hard part: those compliments feel good and can feel confusing.

They sometimes bring up grief—why didn’t I deserve that kindness before?

All of these changes are surface-level if they’re not accompanied by emotional healing. Yes, the body feels different. But your inner world—the way you see yourself, your story, your wounds—may not have caught up.

And that’s where many people feel blindsided. Because no one warned them that weight loss would not erase pain, trauma, or years of being made to feel "less than."

What Weight Loss Doesn’t Heal—And Why That Can Feel So Confusing

The wounds from your past aren't magically healed upon reaching goal weight. In fact, the ghosts of trauma linger in the body and in somatic memories that can actually be triggered by losing weight.

For example, we know that childhood sexual abuse in women is linked to adult rates of obesity, specifically at a rate of 42.25% of women with a childhood sexual abuse history having large weight gain, compared to 28.4% of women without such a history of trauma. (Noll JG, Zeller MH, Trickett PK, Putnam FW. Obesity risk for female victims of childhood sexual abuse: a prospective study. Pediatrics. 2007 Jul;120(1):e61-7. doi: 10.1542/peds.2006-3058. PMID: 17606550.)

Losing the weight can make you feel like you've lost your protective armor, the part of you that deflected dangerous attention and kept you safe. Losing that armor can make you feel vulnerable, unprotected, dysregulated, and at risk.

Mental Health Can Actually Feel Worse at First

• Many people are surprised to feel more anxious, depressed, or emotionally dysregulated after major weight loss.

• Why? Because food may have been a source of soothing, and that coping mechanism has now changed or been restricted.

• In some cases, disordered eating thoughts intensify post-weight loss, especially without psychological support.

 You May Still Feel the Same Insecurity—Just in a Smaller Body

• That inner critic? Still there.

• That fear of not being enough? Still whispering.

• That dread of gaining the weight back? Now louder than ever.

  
  

💬 Relationships Might Not Improve—Or Might Get More Complicated

• Some people treat you better. Others become jealous, uncomfortable, or distant.

• If you’re partnered, things may shift in unexpected ways: intimacy, power dynamics, attraction.

• You may find yourself asking: Did they only start liking me because I look different?

• Or: Why do I still feel lonely, even though I’m getting more attention?

You’re Still Carrying the Emotional Weight

And that’s the real crux: You’ve lost the pounds, but not the pain. The shame. The pressure. The unspoken fear that it could all come back.

A Gentle Truth

If this is you, you’re not broken. You’re not ungrateful. You’re just realizing that body change and soul healing are two different journeys. And it’s okay to need support for both.

So What Does Help? (And What Healing Really Looks Like)

If you’re nodding along, feeling seen—but also a little disoriented—you’re not alone.

Here’s the truth most people aren’t told before their weight loss journey: Changing your body doesn’t automatically change your beliefs about your worth. That work takes intention, tenderness, and often, support.

So what actually helps?

💬 1. Processing Your Story, Not Just Your Symptoms

Working with a therapist can help you untangle years of internalized shame, old stories about your body, and the “rules” you’ve been living by. You deserve more than behavior tips—you deserve space to feel, grieve, and reimagine your identity. Somatic practices in therapy can also help you identify and heal the stuck parts of yourself, the parts of you that still believe you aren't worthy.

🧠 2. Healing Your Relationship With Your Body—Not Just Managing It

This means practicing body neutrality (not toxic positivity), reconnecting with how your body feels instead of just how it looks, and finding new ways to relate to movement, rest, and food without fear. Managing your body leads to control, and control isn't possible. What is possible is learning to work with your body, to support your health for the whole journey.

❤️ 3. Building Self-Compassion Muscles

Especially after years of perfectionism, people-pleasing, or chasing approval, compassion is a radical shift. It sounds like: “I’m allowed to be human. ”And: “My worth was never conditional in the first place.” We focus on Kristen Neff's view of self-compassion, which is three-pronged: Self-kindness, Common humanity, & Mindfulness.

🧱 4. Creating Safety and Stability—From the Inside Out

Whether it’s regulating your nervous system, setting boundaries in relationships, or grieving old versions of yourself, the work is to build emotional safety that doesn’t depend on your body staying a certain size.

🙋‍♀️ You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If this resonated—if you’ve lost the weight but still feel heavy with pressure, confusion, or grief—I want you to know: this is work I deeply understand and hold space for.

I work with people who are navigating the emotional aftermath of major body changes, including those brought on by GLP-1 medications or bariatric surgery. There's no shame here for getting help to lose the weight, and there's no shame in getting help after losing it either. My approach is gentle, trauma-informed, somatic and nervous system oriented, and grounded in helping you feel like a whole person again.

🔹 Ready for support?

You can book a consultation or read more about how I work here. Let’s help your inner life catch up to the changes in your outer one.

Take Exquisite Care of Yourselves,

Megan

Overstimulated or Understimulated? How to Tell the Difference and What to Do About It

Hi friends,

I hope you are doing well! Today, let's tackle an issue that has been coming up more frequently in my sessions with clients: trying to determine what your nervous system needs in the moment. Think of your nervous system like a car engine. What's happening within? Does it need to run faster or hotter, therefore requiring you to press on the gas (a.k.a. understimulation)? Or is slamming on the brakes needed (overstimulation)? Let's take a journey to figure out which is which!

Have you ever felt like your body is trying to tell you something—but you’re not quite sure what it’s saying?

One minute, the world feels too loud, too bright, too much. The next, you’re bouncing your leg, chewing on your hoodie string, and replaying the same song for the hundredth time. (Yes, that one.)

That’s your nervous system asking for support.

If you’re a therapist, teacher, nurse, caregiver, or anyone living in a chronically overstimulating (or under-stimulating) world—this post is for you.

What Is Overstimulation?

Overstimulation happens when your nervous system is overwhelmed with sensory input. Think: loud noises, bright lights, busy spaces, strong smells. It’s your body’s version of system overload.

Signs of Overstimulation:

• You can’t ignore background noise, clutter, or smells

• You crave quiet, dark environments to recharge

• You feel off-balance or slow to physically respond

• You notice body sensations intensely (like a pounding heart or growling stomach)

• You feel wiped out after a trip to the mall or grocery store

• You feel like you’re “underwater” or shut down when overwhelmed

What Is Understimulation?

Understimulation is less talked about but just as real. It happens when your nervous system isn’t getting enough input to feel alert and grounded. You may feel antsy, foggy, or stuck in low energy.

Signs of Understimulation:

• You need to constantly touch items or people

• You chew on things (pens, sleeves, gum, hair, etc.)

• You repeat sounds or play the same song on loop

• You're doom scrolling or bed rotting and you still don't feel better

• You bump into things or walk with heavy footfalls

• You seek stimulation through overeating, overworking, or impulse spending

Why This Matters for Helpers + Healers

When you’re already navigating stress, burnout, or compassion fatigue, these sensory shifts can feel even more intense. And if you're neurodivergent, this back-and-forth might be part of your everyday.

But here’s the good news: when you learn to recognize whether you’re overstimulated or understimulated, you can give your nervous system exactly what it needs to come back to balance.

Ask Yourself: “Do I Need More or Less Right Now?”

This simple question can help you pause, check in, and respond—rather than react.

Here’s how to support your nervous system, based on what it needs:

Tools for Overstimulation

• 🎧 Use noise-canceling headphones or play white noise

• 💡 Dim the lights or switch to soft lamps

• 🧊 Try a weighted eye mask or rub ice on your cheeks

• 🤗 Use a weighted blanket or give yourself a firm hug

• 🌱 Lay on the floor or grass to ground yourself

• 🥤 Drink cool water with lemon

Tools for Understimulation

• 🍋 Suck on sour candy or a mint

• 🍬 Chew gum or try chewelry (chewable jewelry)

• 🎶 Play your favorite walk-up song and dance to it

• ☀️ Get morning sunlight if possible

• 💦 Use an acupressure mat or take a cold shower

• Do 'toe yoga' in your shoes or on the floor to add in movement in a small way.

  
  

TL;DR – You’re Not “Too Sensitive.” You’re Just Dysregulated.

Overstimulation and understimulation aren’t character flaws—they’re messages from your body. Your nervous system isn’t trying to sabotage you. It’s just trying to talk to you.

The more you learn to listen and respond with compassion, the more calm, clarity, and energy you’ll unlock.

Need more support navigating nervous system regulation or burnout?

Subscribe to my email list to get:

• Free wellness resources

• Practical tips that don’t involve overhauling your life

• Encouragement from someone who’s been there

You deserve support too. 🧡

Take exquisite care of yourself,

Megan

Health and Consistency Series: The Final Pillar of Nutrition

Hi friends!

I hope your nervous system and brain aren't too overwhelmed with the state of the world and the fact that winter feels like it is 987 days long. I feel tired, honestly, but I'm making time to go touch grass (literally, even though it's crunchy and brown because winter) and create something. I think I'll bake some bread today.

For our final pillar, I'd like to focus on nutrition. And here's the thing, I'm not going to tell you what to eat, because that's actually supposed to be different for all of us. This is called the concept of bio-individuality, and it's a core framework for functional medicine. It's something I am getting more and more attuned with, in myself and my body as well.

Your Own Individual Diet for Total Wellness

Bio-individuality is defined as "recognizing that all of us are individual and unique with distinct genetic makeups, gut microbiomes, cognitive processes, hormone levels, etc., and therefore, we all need to investigate what works best for us when it comes to nutrition, sleep, exercise and managing stress. You are the expert in you. Seriously. You do know what you need best, most of the time, even if you don't actively choose that.

If we look at nutrition as a key piece of wellness, but we see it as some mysterious thing that we can't figure out, then we may never get to experience feeling our best. Here's some ways to improve your knowledge about your own bio-individuality when it comes to eating well:

1. Keep a food diary for 14 days. During this period of time, change nothing about what you eat. Just eat and notice the following factors:

   1. How is my energy level after eating that meal or snack approximately 2-3 hours later?

   2. What does my stomach feel like?

   3. Do I notice any gut issues, like diarrhea or constipation?

   4. How do I feel about myself emotionally after eating that food or meal?

2. Identify if there's different timings or patterns that would work better for you with regards to nutrition.

   1. For some people, considering some form of intermittent fasting is helpful.

   2. For others, it's eating food in a different order, like the Glucose Goddess recommends.

   3. Sometimes, people do better if they add more of one thing and less of another, like my clients with food intolerances and allergies.

3. Find resources that fit into your preferred pattern of eating and what foods made you feel your best. But be sure to scan the resource to make it's free of shame around food and nutrition.

   1. Nobody changed for the long term because of shame, and nobody ever will.

4. Create a neutrality towards food within yourself.

   1. Food is morally neutral. It doesn't say anything about you as a wife, friend, dad, husband, mother, child, daughter, son.

   2. What you choose to eat and how it makes you feel is just data, more information about how to best live your life in this body you've been given.

5. Understand that much of the research around food and eating as well as exercise is conflicting and based on whichever monopolies are facing the nutrition marketplace today.

   1. No one food group is the solution to all of your problems. (Cough cough, just eat MORE protein and you'll magically lose 107 pounds easily and with no effort).

6. Try to find ways to include more whole foods and less super-processed foods into your diet. That's it. Don't throw your McDonald's fries out of the window. Just add in more unprocessed options throughout your daily life.

7. Explore making 1 new recipe per week at home. Just one.

   1. Most of us eat out way too much, and cooking is good for you both physically and emotionally. Cooking is creation and humans were designed to create.

Remember that nutrition and eating 'healthy' needs to be sustainable for the long term. Sure, drinking a protein shake per day sounds doable initially but what happens when the newness wears off and you begin to hate the taste? What happens when you begin intuitive eating and then realize that your intuition is... drawn only to foods that you know, deep down, don't help you feel your best?

Once you discover what types of food and eating patterns best support your wellness, you can then identify what you need to adjust in order to obtain optimal health, but it will feel less rigorous, less restrictive. And isn't that what we all are looking for? More ease, more confidence in ourselves and our choices.

If you want to work with a therapist who understands the complexity around health, nutrition, and the emotional mindset work around pursuing total wellness, I'd love to chat with you further about what your goals look like, and where you feel like you're currently stumbling. Schedule your free consultation here.

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Take exquisite care of yourselves,

Megan