When Doubt Turns Into Desperation: A Peek into Obsessive Doubt and OCD

Hi friends! I hope you are doing well. Today, I'd thought we'd tackle a specific type of problem that shows up in the therapy room with many of my clients: obsessive doubt.

If you're curious about 'obsessive doubt,' think of it like super intense anxiety. It's when you can't stop worrying about what might happen in the future, or what could have happened in the past. Like, are you really in love? Did you pick the right partner? Could you have hurt someone without even knowing it? Did the doctor miss something during your check-up? Is the world gonna be okay? Will you have enough money? The person with obsessive doubt struggles to trust their senses, their memories, their actions, even themselves, at their very core.

When the uncertainty train leaves, it takes us to the land of obsession. This is where doubt turns into desperation. We start obsessing over things, creating stories in our heads that make us super anxious and scared about things that haven't even happened. And then, to feel better, we might start doing things over and over to try to feel safe and calm. Like... counting, or googling, or asking our best friends to listen to us describe how much we love our partner and all the reasons why, or creating budget sheet after budget sheet to make certain you have enough money. Compulsiveness can look like reading the news multiple times per day, scanning for 'feel-good' articles to prove to yourself that there's still good in the world, but then distrusting them when you do read them, because after all, there's so many bad, awful terrible news stories out in the world, too.

Make no mistake, people who aren't in therapy have doubts, too. All people do. But most humans have doubts that they can then turn off or move away from, because they know living in fear and doubt keeps them stuck, paralyzed, unable to move forward.

Let's use one of the doubt-based questions above: "What if the doctor missed something at my last wellness check up?" What is the potential consequences of this happening? The person plagued with this doubt might find themselves struggling not to overreact, and their inner monologue might sound something like this,

"I just noticed a strange mole on my body, and I went to the doctor last week and they looked at it and said it seemed fine, that it didn't meet the criteria for any further testing. They're a great doctor, and I usually trust them, but what if? What if they missed something at my check up? What if it's melanoma and I am completely at stage four and it's terminal and I die? I once read a news article where a women's melanoma was underneath her skin and she didn't start showing signs until it was too late. I'd feel like I let my family down if I don't get this checked out again and I die and leave them all here without me. I better go google pictures of melanoma for the next two hours, while I wait for the doctor's office to call me back so I can go back for a biopsy."

Does the above story sound familiar? Maybe your anxiety or doubt doesn't hang its hat onto that particular hook.

Maybe you instead are terrified of making the wrong decision in future colleges, careers, life partners, places to live, etc. Perhaps you find yourself awake at night laying next to your loving, kind, thoughtful partner of 23 years and you're suddenly struck with the thought, "What if I don't love them enough?" And then you can't stop worrying about that. If you don't love them 'enough,' then don't they deserve to be with someone who can love them better? What if you have to get divorced because you don't love them enough?' When you can't get this thought to calm down, then you rush into googling, 'How do you know you love your partner enough?' The search results spike your anxiety further though, because the first article that pops up is titled, "When Love isn't Enough." Cue the pounding heart, the dry mouth, the tears, the nausea in your stomach.

See how quickly things can escalate? Whew! I was starting to get a bit nervous just thinking about it. But at the core of all these uncertainties is the basic question: "Am I secure?" Our minds are always on the lookout for potential threats, and you know what's risky? Stepping into new areas of your life. Anxiety acts as a signal, reminding you to recognize your current needs, which usually involve safety, assurance, and confidence in yourself and your perceptions. It's crucial to trust what you can see, feel, touch, taste, and know in the present moment, and rely less on your imagination, which often creates doubts to steer you towards safety and away from danger.

The next time you experience a thought like the ones above, or even one that sounds like a statement, ask yourself "What else could it be?" This question will open your mind to the other possibilities, and maybe, just maybe, give you a chance to breathe in a tiny bit of air before you allow the doubt to drag you underneath the rough, choppy waves of uncertainty. Life is uncertain, and the thing is, none of us make it out alive, but we can still make it good. We can still make it good.

And if you find yourself needing further support or intrigued by this blog post, I'm always just an email or a text message away to get you started on the treatment you need to help you heal in the midst of doubt and fear.

Take exquisite care of yourself,

Megan

EMDR Intensives: Transformative and Targeted

Is Trauma Still Holding You Back? Discover the Transformative Power of EMDR Intensives

After years of talk therapy, does it still feel like trauma has a grip on you, keeping you stuck in a loop of hypervigilance, sleepless nights, or nightmares? Maybe you find yourself reliving painful memories, feeling disconnected in relationships, or even resorting to impulsive actions just to feel something—anything. EMDR intensives go beyond talk, combining eye movement therapy with somatic work to help you finally complete the threat response cycle—a natural reset our bodies need to feel safe and whole. In just a few focused sessions, you can break free from trauma’s hold, reconnecting with your true self, and welcoming in the creativity, spontaneity, and freedom you’ve been longing for.

How EMDR Works to Release Trauma

Think of your brain as having its own personal “secretary,” in charge of filing away all your memories. When trauma happens, though, it’s as if this secretary is overwhelmed and just shoves memories into files based on what they “feel” like rather than putting them in the right place. This is why certain memories trigger intense reactions even if they don’t seem directly related—they’re all lumped together under a similar feeling or belief, like “I’m not safe” or “I’m powerless.”

EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, helps the brain’s “filing system” organize those memories properly. Using bilateral stimulation (BLS)—such as eye movements, tapping, or sounds—EMDR engages both sides of the brain to support the natural processing and integration of traumatic memories. As we work through these memories, they’re moved out of those emotionally reactive files into a place where they feel neutral and manageable.

Shifting Self-Beliefs and Finding New Perspectives

In each EMDR session, we’ll also explore the beliefs that have been “filed” with these memories. Trauma often leaves behind limiting beliefs like “I am not safe” or “I am powerless,” which can color your view of yourself and the world. EMDR gently challenges these beliefs, helping replace them with perspectives that support your current life. You might shift from “I’m not safe” to “I am resilient” or from “I am powerless” to “I have control over my life.”

By creating space for both physical processing and belief transformation, EMDR can release trauma’s grip, bringing lasting relief, resilience, and a sense of calm you can carry forward.

Why Choose an EMDR Intensive?

For many, traditional therapy can feel like slow progress, especially when dealing with deeply rooted trauma. EMDR intensives offer an alternative path, with research supporting the effectiveness of these focused sessions to deliver faster, longer-lasting relief.

• Accelerated Healing Supported by Research: Studies, such as those by van der Kolk et al. (2007), have shown that EMDR intensives can significantly reduce symptoms of PTSD in shorter timeframes compared to traditional therapy models. One study found that over 75% of participants experienced a substantial reduction in symptoms within just a few intensive sessions, highlighting the rapid transformation possible with this approach.

• Fewer Disruptions, Greater Cohesion: Weekly therapy can feel like starting and stopping, which can interrupt the brain’s processing. Shapiro (2001), the originator of EMDR, emphasized that an intensive approach helps maintain a cohesive reprocessing experience, fostering what researchers call a “momentum effect” that supports faster integration of traumatic memories.

• In-Depth, Supportive Work: EMDR intensives allow for more sustained focus and deeper processing. In a study by Ehlers et al. (2010), trauma survivors who engaged in intensive trauma therapy experienced greater symptom reduction and maintained these improvements at follow-up sessions, suggesting that intensives provide a durable path to relief.

• Better Fit for Busy Schedules: Intensive therapy also offers flexibility for those with demanding schedules. Research from the Journal of Traumatic Stress (2013) found that intensive trauma-focused therapy is not only effective but also a time-efficient option for clients unable to commit to long-term weekly sessions, offering transformative results without long-term scheduling challenges.

• Enhanced Mind-Body Integration: Addressing the somatic aspects of trauma is key to complete healing. Studies in somatic psychology, like those by Ogden & Fisher (2015), indicate that integrating body-based approaches in trauma therapy helps individuals complete the natural threat response cycle, restoring a balanced nervous system and freeing up space for creativity, joy, and resilience.

EMDR Intensive Programs to Fit Your Healing Journey

Every journey through trauma is unique, so I offer different EMDR intensive options tailored to meet specific needs and goals. Each program includes a one-hour intake appointment the week prior, where we’ll create a customized treatment plan and take a thorough history to prepare for your intensive. Here’s a look at each program, including pricing:

• Half-Day Intensive - $699 Perfect for targeted focus on a specific issue. If you’re looking to address a particular memory or event that’s been holding you back, the Half-Day Intensive might be your best fit. This 3-4 hour session provides focused EMDR work to help your brain reprocess a single traumatic event or a specific painful memory. Clients often choose this option if they have a clear target in mind and want a safe, structured environment to work through it thoroughly without committing to a full day.

• One-Day Intensive - $1199 Ideal for diving deeper into multiple layers of trauma. The One-Day Intensive is designed for those ready to tackle more complex or layered trauma. In a full day (about 6-7 hours with breaks), we’ll address multiple memories or beliefs that are keeping you feeling “stuck.” This is an excellent choice if you’re ready for a more immersive experience that allows us to work through deeper patterns of distress and help shift those negative beliefs toward a more balanced, empowered perspective.

• Multi-Day Intensive - $2499 For those with complex trauma or deep-seated patterns needing a comprehensive approach. If your trauma feels intricate and multifaceted—perhaps affecting various aspects of your life or stemming from prolonged experiences—the Multi-Day Intensive offers a fully immersive healing experience. Over the course of 2-3 weekends, we’ll work through your trauma at a pace that supports deep and lasting change, with ample time to reprocess multiple memories and beliefs. This approach allows us to work through significant layers, reinforcing new, healthier perspectives and gradually integrating progress into your daily life, all while respecting your unique rhythm and capacity for healing.

  
  

Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey?

If you’re ready to move past the weight of unresolved trauma and step into a life of resilience, creativity, and freedom, an EMDR intensive could be the perfect fit. Schedule your intake appointment today to get started with a customized plan tailored just for you.

Reach out to info@giftofgritcounseling.com to book your appointment, or feel free to contact me with any questions. Let’s take this step together and help you reclaim the peace and spontaneity you deserve.

The Right 'Fit': Tips for Finding a Therapist Who Gets You

Hello, hello! I hope your Fall is starting off strong and you are doing any and everything you want to do in order to celebrate the season.

Today, I thought I would write a post to help potential clients find a therapist they actually like and want to work with. We need to solve that age-old problem of "who the heck do I pick if I am scrolling on Psychology Today or Mental Health Match or just googling "therapists for anxiety in _____ area?"

When you're looking at providers or doing consultations with them, I think focusing on four key items is helpful:

• Notice the key words on their website or directory listing.

  • I think looking at their years of practice is smart (new graduates are lovely, but largely untested clinically and will need to cut their teeth for a bit before developing their own clinical style).

  • Checking out what modalities they have listed will give you insight into how much they've invested in their clinical skills thus far. Trainings like IFS, EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, TEAM-CBT certification, I-CBT, ERP, etc. are expensive and show dedication to a higher craft of healing, in my opinion.

  • If they say they use an eclectic approach, I would shy away from that listing. 'Eclectic' sounds like a clinician is throwing darts at the wall and seeing what sticks, treatment-wise.

  • Another red flag would be an unprofessional picture, like a bad selfie (you know the kind I'm talking about... where it looks like the photos men after 40 on dating apps choose-- See the example meme below!) or one with poor lighting. Now, this doesn't mean they're a bad therapist, but it makes me wonder how invested they are in their business overall.

• Ask the right questions.

  • When you book a consult with a therapist, it's good to come in with a list of questions for them. Don't ask your questions via email, for two reasons. Reason one: you want to hear their tone of voice, and see their body language if you can. You're interviewing them, while they are deciding if they can serve your clinical needs. Reason two: your email may not get answered if there are too many qualifiers in it. Good therapists are busy, and they want to get you booked for a consult or intake, not answer questions via email. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I want you to find the help you need, not linger in an inbox.

  • Good examples of questions include:

    • How do you help clients navigate the change process?

    • What's your favorite coping skill to teach?

    • What type of training do you have in treating XYZ issue?

    • How would you describe your personality in the therapy room?

    • If you have a certain issue that is coming up that is sensitive or important to you, ask about it. Example: "I need help navigating my religious trauma, while I continue attending church. Can you help me with that balance?"

• Prioritize the importance of schedule availability, financial commitment, or personality fit with the clinician.

  • What matters to you? Cost? If so, check to see if the clinician takes your insurance or not, determine if they offer superbills for out of network reimbursement if they are private pay, or ask about a sliding scale availability in the consultation. The worst they can say is no. If they don't have any sliding scale slots and are private pay only, you can certainly see if they would be willing to meet every other week instead of weekly. I wouldn't recommend monthly sessions initially. You won't heal as quickly and may pay more in the long run anyways, due to the stalled treatment pattern.

  • Schedule availability? If you can only meet at evenings or weekends or at 2pm on Wednesday and that's it, you will need to be flexible about cost and clinician personality fit.

  • If you find a therapist you would LOVE to work with, then it may require a bit more of an investment financially and a flexibility with scheduling. Something I remind clients of is that research tells us a quality therapeutic relationship is the main key for healing. So, if you want the most success, this may be the most important piece for you. However, it's okay if you need to prioritize the money aspect or the scheduling piece first!

• Look for signs of good ethics and/or boundaries in your future therapist.

  • Why? Because a therapist with poor boundaries or ethics is ripe for burnout and lackluster or harmful treatment practices. And because you want to learn about healthy boundaries from someone who exhibits them in their own life and business.

  • What are the signs to be looking at?

    • Check what time the clinician emails you back at or returns calls at. If they email you back at 3am, that would be a sign they struggle with time boundaries.

    • Ask them how they handle crises with current clients. If they say, "oh you can call me anytime...", while that may be reassuring to you, it's a sign to me that they can't disconnect and/or they feel an alarming personal responsibility to their clients outside of sessions.

    • Ask around about the therapist with trusted people you know. If someone you know has had a good experience with them, that's a better sign you can trust them.

    • Check their licensing board website and look them up to see if any complaints have been levied against them in the past and what for.

    • See if they say anything about hobbies, creativity, exercise or family/friend time in their 'About Me' section. You want a therapist who preserves their energy outside the therapy room by engaging in healthy fun things outside of their work. They will be more refreshed and ready to help you heal when they are in the room.

    • If they let you know that they are full up front, take that as a sign that they have good boundaries. They aren't seeing 40+ clients per week. That's a good thing, for you. Ask them how they navigate the idea of a waiting list or if they want you to just check back in a month or so to see if a slot has opened up. Remember, good therapists don't always have immediate openings, unless they are building a caseload, which is totally fine. A full caseload today may shift to 2-3 openings tomorrow.

There we have it, some of my thoughts on how to navigate the therapist search as a client! Let me know what else you'd like to know or discuss about this process. I know it's hard. Don't get discouraged. You will find the right one for you!

Take exquisite care of yourselves,

Megan