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Anxiety Busters: Two Truths

Hello, hello! I hope your first week of anxiety busting went well. The news diet is a technique you can adopt as needed in order to take a break from the misery of the world. Let me know how news/social media dieting worked for you this week in the comments below.




Let's move onto our second anxiety buster tip, titled 'Two truths.' At its core, this is the tenet of multiplicity, or the idea that two things/perspectives can be true at the same time. What do I mean by "two things can be true at the same time?" Simple, your experience can be true and so can another person's experience. Or, you can be having a hard time and still be a good *partner, parent, friend, daughter, son, employee, etc. You can feel anxious and do *the hard thing* anyways. Both parts of the above statements can be true at the same time.


Let's take an example and break this idea of multiplicity down. Say you come home, and your partner is home early. There are dishes in the sink, the house is a wreck, and you walk in to them laying down on the couch. Immediately, your hackles are raised. Your blood pressure starts to rise, and you start saying to yourself, "How inconsiderate. They can't even be bothered to help clean up this house we both live in." The anxiety you feel around your intimate partnership is brought to the forefront. If you used the "two truths" technique, it could look something like this:


You might say to yourself instead, "Whew. I'm feeling anxious and irritable. What two things could be true right now? I feel like my partner has been working a lot and they saw the mess and needed a break, and I feel overwhelmed by the messy house. Both things can be true at the same time."


If you led your subsequent discussion with your partner with the two truths mindset, you'd be inclined to open up the conversation around chores more gently and both of you would feel validated and secure in the interaction, thus increasing cooperation in your partnership overall. If you lead with the initial reaction you had, you might pop off and lose your shit. Then the discussion dissolves into conflict and the dishes don't get done. You feel more anxious overall, and worry about the state of your relationship.


Two truths can be used when you find yourself utilizing harsh self-talk in regards to your anxiety symptoms. Many clients don't even realize how 'mean' they are to themselves within their own inner landscape. If they feel anxious, they tell themselves things like, "You're fine. Quit overreacting. You are such a loser. You're a bad parent, partner or friend. You don't deserve good things because you are a failure." So on, and so forth. If you used the two truths method, you might say something like:


"Man, it's been a really hard week. I've really struggled with my anxiety, and I'm still a good parent."


"I feel overwhelmed and I can still do one thing today to lessen my worries tomorrow."


"Sometimes I lose my shit, and I am still a good partner."


"I feel worried and I am going to try again anyways."


This use of two truths can allow you to find compassion and accountability at the same time. Anxiety thrives when we beat ourselves up and then do nothing to challenge the problems that create the feelings of worry and overwhelm in our lives in the first place. You can use the idea of multiplicity in your personal and professional relationships, as well as your relationship with yourself, to create space between validating your experience and pushing towards newer and better ways of thinking.


Let me know in the comments below what your thoughts or questions on the 'two truths' technique are! I'd love to connect further. If you are interested in going deeper with this technique or others like it, please give me a call/text to 405-215-9354, or reach out at info@giftofgritcounseling.com.

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